3/31/12

That Last Night

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 26; the 26th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'That Last Night'.
Yawn, what time is it? About 2 a.m. I guess. I don't know why I get the itch to write at such an ungodly hour. Hmm let's see... I think this contest calls for something tragic-o-romantic. The topic is so final and specific in its tone. Its about a night that was the last one. But any garden variety last night won't do. It has to be that one. That's right! Of all the last nights you can recollect, you have to write about that one. This one or the other one for that matter won't work. That last night is what's in order. Doesn't leave much room for levity now, does it? 

Maybe I can make this about the imaginary night that my imaginary girlfriend broke up with me or died even? Yes, that's it, she died! That ought to give me the finality I seek. Otherwise what's the point? Why bother? Also it would give me a chance to show that I have the courage to tackle death. That I am not afraid of discussing it, exploring it.  So how did my girlfriend die? Traffic accident? Credible but far too common. I need a novel way of dying. How about death by a plastic spoon? How would the mechanics even work? And how many plastic spoons would you need? Maybe all you need is one, as long as you can get the victim to melt it and inhale the toxic fumes. Or maybe she had a horrible nightmare about dying that resulted in cardiac arrest while she was still sleeping. Interesting... but how would I know the cause of her heart attack? She would not be around to tell me about the dream that precipitated her demise? No worries. I will invoke the artistic freedom clause at that point and shift the burden of logic and proof to my readers. However, death has been so bludgeoned to death in contemporary writing, that its probably devoid of any shock value at this point.

I wonder then if I have a poem languishing somewhere, that's pining to be published. Oh, oh... here's one I found. Its called "One fine day". Should be trivial to negate the title and the content to end up with "That last night". Turn day into night, black into white. That'll to do it. But, do people have any patience left for poems these days? Who has the time to sit down with a rhyme and explore the metaphor it employs? And then repeat that process for the five laborious rhymes, I was able to muster over an excruciating three months? They would rather eat takeout dinner, while watching a "TV chef" yap about a recipe containing ingredients nobody heard of, as he mills about in a fake and shiny looking kitchen, without actually cooking anything. He wants you to believe that he is a chef and that he cooked that recipe in thirty minutes. But believe me when I say that nobody can cook lamb eyelid soup with unicorn tail salad in thirty minutes.

What about a story with a surprise ending then? Nah, that's too much work. With a surprise ending, you have to think about the story backwards - create the ending first and weave a story around it. And I am not good at weaving anything, let alone a clever twist with a story surrounding it. Not that I didn't try. It just wasn't for me... weaving that is. Now don't go asking why I tried weaving. That's a topic for a whole another post. What about fifty five word fiction then? Besides requiring some serious skills that I do not possess, I consider it to be the gateway drug to tweeting. If you are a blogger, consider yourself warned as well.

So four paragraphs later, I have got nothing but a few scattered brain droppings. That's frustrating! I should stop waking up in the middle of the night to scribble away at my blog.  It does not do me any good. Wait a minute... I think we are onto something here. Ah, there it is! Are you ready? Wait for it... wait for it... This will be the last night that I drool all over my blog in a zombie like state. And by the time I publish, the this will have turned into a that, making this a story about what went on in my head during that last night of my somna-penmanism. Q.E.D. ...  Zzzz

P.S.  You guessed it. Somna-penmanism is a word for sleep writing, I just made up while sleep writing. And in case you weren't keeping count, three living beings and one phenomenon have died in this post: an imaginary girlfriend, death itself, a lamb and a unicorn. And die in vain they did, if you don't vote for this post.
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

33 comments:

  1. Ha! Ha! I too struggled with the finality of 'that' last night! You have very well captured the dilemma and the process of writing a BAT entry!!

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    1. T'was an interesting challenge to write something funny about this topic.

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  2. LOL...loved the humour..this is my first time at your blog & you bet I'll be coming back for more!!!
    ATB for BAT...

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    1. Blogger thought this was spam a comment. So it was tucked away under the spam section under comments. Found it today.

      Rinaya, please do keep coming back. That serves as much needed encouragement. ATB to you as well.

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  3. Muhahaha! Thank God she was just ur imaginary gf, the one u were desp. trying to kill!

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    1. The molten plastic spoons are my witness that she was indeed imaginary. :)

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  4. Hahaha! That was really funny! I loved the semiotics! :D
    Very refreshing read! :)

    Btw, I have a request of you that you may please re-post your comment on my story as in spite of getting an email notification, your comment isn't visible on my blog.
    I treasure comments and yours is no exception. :)
    Losing comments upsets me. :(

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    1. Blogger thought this was spam comment. So it was tucked away under the spam section under comments. That would explain the mystery of the missing comments.

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  5. Lol. Cool one. Interesting musing on how blog-a-ton ics struggle to come up with their posts.

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    1. When I saw the topic declaration I almost decided to not participate. But am glad I tried.

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  6. your post made me chuckle at the apathy of men, they silently go on building up a fire within & ultimate release comes in imagination only. very well imagined I must say.

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    1. Glad you liked my imagination, but your theory about pent up frustrations of apathetic men does not represent my mind set when I wrote the second paragraph in the post. Thx for sharing your thoughts here.

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    2. I am sorry, I didn't mean anything personal, It was a general apathy faced by men. It's a brilliant penning. Please don't take anything otherwise.

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    3. Hey, I did not mind the comment at all. Was just explaining what my state of mind was (or wasn't rather :))

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  7. Left a big smile after I completed reading it. Loved the spontaneity in the post. Really liked it :). Real good humor I say :)

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  8. Interesting take on the topic, very well written..

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  9. Nyahahaha...I have learnt a new word! Somna-penmanism! Ha ha...

    It was so much fun reading your entry Sunjoo! From where are you?

    Good luck...have fun...:) I remember a blogging friend who loves to write funny stories!

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    1. Make sure you vote for adding that one the new Oxford dictionary edition :). Glad you had fun reading it. It was hard to make this one funny. I am from India a desi thorough and through, even though the spelling of the first name makes it look like a Korean name.

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  10. Refreshing read! I enjoyed the detailed description of the semiotics. Always a pleasure to know about how thoughts flow! :D
    All the best for BAT!

    PS: I remember posting a comment earlier on this entry. I don't see it, however. Probably was eaten by the blogger bug. :-/

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    1. You are probably giving me more credit than I deserve especially with the semiotics part :). Looks like blogger has some glitches they need to work out when comment moderation is enabled. I am guessing you just disabled comment moderation on your blog to resolve the comment vanishing problem.

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  11. So unusual and entertaining tale...very creative indeed...loved reading it. All the best.

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  12. nice post bro :P pretty funny :D \m/
    and about the poem part :P yeah rhyming :P tough :p

    ATB :D \m/

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  13. I loved the post. I think it deserves to be taken seriously (though, I am not sure people do that especially when voting for a topic-based competition...) But I really liked it.

    Enjoyed it.

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    1. Besides the depicting my struggles with the topic the post has a second satirical vein to it, just under the surface. Its for the reader to see it. Looks like you may have uncovered it. :)

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    2. Ahem. Sort of. Like, I do see merit in your post. There's a thing running parellely.

      And it's not just a desperate attempt from a person who found nothing to write. It's an actual post, the way I see it.

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  14. ha ha ha.. Humor at its best Sunjoo... While reading your post I remembered one of the post I penned for Blog-a-Ton - What if? I wrote in similar lines and you know it is the best way one could write for topics like this.. SmileS..

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  15. an innovative take on the topic...enjoyed reading it

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  16. I liked the post. . You have good humor in your writing. . Overall well narrated. .

    ATB for BAT

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  17. Well written..Loved the post..nice touch of humor too.

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