I can't be ...

I can't be a serial killer because I don't like to do the same thing twice.

I can't be a proctologist because I am afraid to find out things about myself that I did not want to know.

I can't be the president because I have a fear of oval shaped rooms.

I can't be spiritual unless it implies a scotch drink every night.

I can't be a prophet because I can never remember my dreams.

I can't be a visionary because I have myopia.

I can't be ahead of my time because ... well, no one can.

I can't be post-modern because I don't even know what that means.

I can't be a gourmet pizza because that's a contradiction.


  1. What a post! Fantastic! I'll stumble upon a lot here!

  2. Glad you liked it. Please stumble away!