6/17/09

Assorted observations

Talk is cheap, but silence can cost you.

Which one is larger ... Umpteenth or nth?

Who runs faster ... a girly man or a manly girl?

The next guy who uses the phrase "turn it on its head" in front of me will be turned on his head. I would rather speak to his rear than his face.

Once you meet an Amway guy in a store and listen to his pitch, you are certain that you have witnessed the lowest form in the human food chain.

Being anti-authority is so mainstream these days that today's rebellious teens are actually listening to their parents.

I wonder if all the people who die of similar causes go to the same place after death? Kind of like a postmortem support group of souls who suffered the same fate. A place to find kinship in death, if not in life...

There are many professions where smiling is a necessary part of the job. Receptionist, salesman, drive through operator ... to name a few. But being a baby is the only job I could think of, where crying is a necessary part of the role. If you are an infant and you can't cry well enough to manipulate your own parents, you are pretty much SOL, aren't you?

Do you wonder why plastic bags in stores are so hard to open? This typically happens to me in the produce section. You have to make sure you create a little opening with remarkable skill, as if you were a surgeon with a scalpel opening up a patient's chest. Except that instead of a scalpel, you have to use a thumbnail, that you clipped very inelegantly just that morning. After a poor show of dexterity, you will do anything to pretend that the bag you are trying to open is faulty. You hold it to the light and pretend to notice a speck of dirt on it ... before you proceed to throw it in the cart and grab another one, hoping against hope that you will be lucky this time around. And by the time you are done ... you have a dozen plastic bags carefully concealed underneath your groceries as you proceed to the cash register. I think I know now why people buy pre-packaged produce...

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