I purchased half a pound of pound cake in a bakery that did not have an oven. Then I proceeded to my Hummer H3 which is more fuel efficient than its predecessors. On my way, I stopped at a convenience store that is far off from my normal route to get a cup of decaf coffee. Then my wife called and reminded me to get some fruity beer for the next day's party. So while at the grocery store, I also thought of getting some authentic imitation crab meat for appetizers (or insert you favorite French word).

With my groceries done, I walked over to the barbershop to get a fifteen dollar Supercut. As I was walking back to my car, I noticed that I had forgotten my designer glasses in the shop. So I started jogging back towards the store, when I realized that I was wearing my walking shoes. So I slowed down to a fast walk and retrieved my glasses as I chewed on a sugar free gum. Now I was on my way back home. Once on the freeway, another driver blew past a yield sign to cut right in front of me. I had to brake hard and reach for my ear at the same time to stop my hands free mobile earphones from falling off.

My journey back home was looking pretty event less after that. I had my favorite light rock station on the radio and I was singing along with the teenage role model, when I suddenly felt my antilock brakes jam. I had to pull over in a haste and call for a tow truck. But when the tow truck arrived it turned out to be too small to tow my H3. So I dialed my insurance company's emergency number, where I was put on hold for 15 minutes. After making proper arrangements for my car, I managed to get a cab. But the cab driver did not know his way around town so I had to guide him to my home.

On reaching home, I told my wife how upset I was with my insurance company. She tried to calm me down by offering me some homemade lemonade made by a big food company. As I sat by my gas fireplace sipping the lemonade, I turned on TBS which had recently syndicated a new old show. It wasn't long before I fell asleep in front of the TV. I guess the day's events must have exasperated even a patient fellow like me.


  1. Good to see you humana humana Hummer H3. Maybe it's just on your blog. But that's how it all starts. Your slowing down to a fast walk in a walking shoe joke made my day! LOL!
    Surviving 4 months in Cochin, we feel that we are transported to a parallel universe where misnomer is a way of life. From road rules (it should be Tipper lorry and bus drivers from hell rule the road) to Competence centers (that are densely populated by the most incompetent dimwits and mutant jackasses) we see misnomers and misnomers alone around us :-)
    Still...enjoying the stay.

  2. Hey,

    Its been a while. Rest assured that the Hummer stays just on my blog. Glad to know you are enjoying your stay. I have got to see one of these Competence centers you mention. I bet they have a two drink minimum before you can even enter. Keep posting here. The best way to keep in touch is by sharing a few jokes.

  3. finally, 5foot5, i got inspired enough to write some of my jokes. Check out http://mindmyhumor.blogspot.com/