If you are a Republican, I am a Dem.
If prose is your forte, poetry's my gem.
If your faith gives you relief.
I find solace in my disbelief.
Only women can wear certain pants you say?
Oh please, do send those Capris my way!
If I look before I leap,
How does God earn his keep?
Don't mix your drinks brother?
Vodka and beer are made for each other.
You look forward to the Thanksgiving sale?
I will tell you a dumb turkey's tale.
If you spend your weekend climbing a rock.
I choose to waste it looking for a sock.
Horror movies aren't your cup of tea?
Creaking doors I will watch with glee.
If you flinch at a $200 meal,
Extravagance is my deal.
Eating healthy is more important than a few dimes?
Trans fats are wholesome ... my research finds.
Do today what you will do tomorrow?
Now isn't that a recipe for sorrow?
You wash first and dry later?
Drying first is environmentally better.
You are an early riser you say?
Not if you keep time the night owl's way.
Let's forget this banter and propose a toast.
For the contrarian at least makes for a fun post.