12/4/07

A state of emergency

People, I have a problem. The issue is my beard line. A few years ago, it was about an inch back from where it stands today. If this trend continues unabated, I will be shaving my nose in a few more years. This encroachment of hair on my face needs to be stopped. As a first step, I will declare a state of emergency so that hairs cannot assemble in groups on my face anymore. To get support for this from my so called friends, I will use the boil that is festering in the northwest corner of my face as an excuse. I will say that all this hair is making treatment of this contagious condition harder. And if the hair is not stopped and the boil not cured, the pathogens from this festering mess can spread to other faces. After I square way any likely external opposition in this fashion, I will smoke out the facial thought leaders and deal with them. Once the leaders are dealt with, the rest of the hair can just be scared into compliance. And as a contingency, I will be prepared to use force if necessary as well. Hey, a man's got to do whatever is necessary to save face.

1 comment:

  1. Very nice - try to periodicially tend to it so that it doesnt become a Bush!

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