I sometimes wish that I suffered from a useful kind of split personality disorder. The three other personalities I would really like to have besides my usual indolent self are the secretary, the fitness freak and the good listener. The secretary would show up on weekends to do my laundry, pay the bills, water the plants and do the groceries. The fitness freak would appear every evening and run five miles backwards, while carrying twenty pounds in each hand. Then come dinner time, the good listener would eagerly absorb the prolix renditions of the spouse's daily adventures, trials and tribulations. That would leave the real me with ample energy to cater to my twin vices of television and blogging. A few other characters that I could really use as bench support are the politically correct drone, the savvy negotiator and the mind reader. What are your most desirable split personalities? Post them here as comments.